It was June 2004, a warm, balmy mid-summer morning, as we sat in the
bleachers, along with hundreds of other proud parents, for high school graduation ceremonies . The sound system crackled, the microphones faintly amplified
the small orchestra’s processional accompaniment of the graduating class.
Our daughter was somewhere among the myriad of caps and gowns. Once our
binoculared eyes located her, we kept a steady gaze to capture that cherished moment, on
camera and in our hearts. We sat there discussing all the wonderful years ahead that we
would share together: her college graduation, her wedding day, our first grandchild,
baptisms, birthday parties and holidays. With her holding down summer jobs, we realized
our traveling would be a little different now. Quick weekend getaways or cross country
vacations, as a threesome, would need to be more strategically organized. But, for
now, it was June 2004, graduation day and that night she was headed for Disneyland
with all her classmates and we were empty-nesters for one night.
June 2010, the plans we sat there dreaming about that day, six years before, took very different paths than what we had seen. And the seven words in the subtitle at the top of this page, are what have guided us through.
Trust and Obey
Our daughter thought she was supposed to go to Pepperdine University, a dream she held all through her teens. And I certainly approved, as I had attended there for my graduate studies. But as her father shared with her, “Sometimes it feels like God slams your fingers in the door, but it’s only because He has a better one for you to walk through.”
And oh…how true that statement became, her sophomore year at Westmont College. She had to trust in her Dad’s words and obey God’s direction. Because what happened between 2004 and 2006 changed her and my life forever. She needed the support of her closest friends, the understanding of her professors who gave her six extra weeks to complete her studies, and the shelter and protection of her mother’s arms.
You see, God gives us special people in our lives, some for just a season and
some for many, many years, like a husband and a dad. But when He calls them home, He
calls them home. And that’s what He did in the Spring of 2006 to Shane’s Dad, my
husband. And even though it’s not the easiest thing to do, trust and obey, in the valley of
the shadow, it’s really the only thing you can do.
Trust and obey, trust and obey.
Order My Steps
When you look into people’s eyes, one of the things you usually wonder about is
who they are and where are they headed. I don’t mean to the mall, to the movies or to the
beach. The question is: where are they headed in life?
When you looked in my eyes, those early days of widowhood, there wasn’t a
direction in sight. God has a way of putting this protective shield around you, because
time has just stood still. You have been given a glimpse of eternity that permeates your
spirit with its’ glory and peace. And you want to, and need to, rest as much as you can for
a while. Because when humanity comes crashing back in on you, the pain and the
loneliness can leave you empty on the floor.
And then one day, your daughter says, “Mom, we need help, to both get through
this. We can’t do this on our own. Let’s join a Grief Share group.” And she was right.
So let me say thank you to the wonderful organization that developed Grief Share.
To the ministers, the authors, facilitators and loving Christian people who shared their
stories on DVD’s through a thirteen week program. Even though we knew, we learned
anew that you have to reach beyond yourself to the only true higher power for His
guidance and His path on which to order your steps.
See Farther
In August of 2004, only four months after her Dad moved onto Heaven, our daughter was scheduled to live in Mexico for a semester. In July, she had serious doubts on whether this was what she should do. We prayed continually and had extensive
conversations throughout that month. And one night, as we sat on her bed talking, three
options were very clear. One: She could stay home and not spend the semester in Mexico.
But this would also mean a semester off from college because Westmont was at capacity
on enrollment. Two: She could go and if somewhere within that time she couldn’t handle
it, she could come home. It’s only money. We’ll get by. And Three: She could go, gut it
up, have one of the most wonderful experiences of her life and I would come visit her
halfway through the semester.
A few days later, just two weeks before her scheduled departure, she chose what
was behind door number three. See farther.
From that decision, she selected a more aggressive focus on a double major and
graduated with two degrees, Business and Spanish. First semester junior year in Mexico,
final semester senior year in Europe. Ah…and Mom (me) flew to London to meet her at
the end of Summer 2008 and we traveled through London, Paris, Barcelona and Rome.
Thank you Lord God for making us see farther.
Life is a gift to unwrap each morning, even though for every one of us, in various
seasons of our lives, it may not feel that way. But it still is. We love people, we lose people, we change jobs, we change directions. We move to a new community, a new state or a new country. Our tastes alter, our perspectives expand, hopefully our wisdom deepens and our character strengthens.
Our days are numbered, from our first to our last, and the building blocks that we
fashion, out of each twenty-four hour component, create the foundation of what we
ultimately become.Yes we want to chart our own course, we want to sculpt the most beautiful, we want to taste the most exotic. That’s how we are designed.
Where to turn along the many paths we travel, when we feel that perhaps no one
“gets” us, no one understands us, or no one cares. Who to thank for those exquisite
moments of peace, of resolve, of beauty, of warmth and of which way to follow. Well,
three messages brought me through a very dark and uncharted season.
I humbly offer that they may be there for you as well.
Trust and Obey – Order My Steps – See Farther
These are the scriptures that continue to carry me through my days.
Trust and Obey:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
NKJV
“But this is what I commanded them, saying, ‘Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be My people. And walk in all the ways that I have commanded you,
that it may be well with you.’ (Jeremiah 7:23) NKJV
Order My Steps:
…Order my steps in Thy Word… (Psalm 119:133) KJV
See Farther
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:6-7) NKJV
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13) NKJV
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